Society has come a long way here in 2021 when it comes to mental health. However, we still have a ways to go. Yes, we see it portrayed and talked about more in our favorite Netflix series but what about talking about it in real life? Sharing with friends or coworkers that you struggle with your mental health is still a scary thing. You might be afraid of a label, people having pity on you, or judgment. These fears are sadly valid because we as a society have still not normalized talking about mental health.
I shared in a post a while back with a small peak into my mental health. I want to share more about my mental health journey so that it not only gives others an insight as to what it’s all about but also for those who do struggle to know they are not alone. This is not for pity or sympathy but a hope that maybe this will reach one soul out there. Now let me preface this with everyone’s mental health story is different. This is just a very brief overview of my experience with it.
I was diagnosed fairly young with anxiety and OCD. Let me be clear, this was not a “personal choice” or something I had control of. My body and mind decided this for me. People do not choose to have anorexia or depression. People do not enjoy being bipolar. Mental health issues are not something one strives to have. However, you do have the power to choose how you will handle it. It has taken me years to come to terms with it, and some days are better than others.
So what does the OCD anxiety combo look like? From my perspective as a child, it was a lot of tantrums. There were times when it was so crippling, I could not leave the house to go to school. I had zero control over my thoughts and was beyond confused why I could not just make it stop. As a teenager, it got even more complicated when you added in the social component. I was always anxious in large groups or with new people. My OCD habits were embarrassing and I was ashamed of them. I constantly second-guessed myself and frequently isolated myself. As an adult, it still makes me avoid social situations but not as much. I hate looking people in the eye, change usually triggers a panic attack, I am very routine, and my brain is literally on highspeed 24/7. From an outsider in any of these situations, I probably came off as just an average person. However, I was masking. I was holding it all in just to fall apart when I got home in fear that I would be judged if I “exposed” my “issues.”
That’s the thing about mental health. It does not have a physical attribute. Yes, you can have physical symptoms but there is no physical feature that the diagnosis displays. I am almost positive there is one person you know that is keeping their mental health a secret for fear of being judged. That needs to stop. We need to stop bashing people for things they do not have control over. This only makes it harder for the ones struggling.
I do not have control of my anxiety/OCD or can just make it go away. I will never be “cured of it.” However, I have learned to manage and cope with it. I was extremely blessed that my parents noticed something was off when I was about seven years old. They immediately had me evaluated and from there I learned how to live with my diagnoses. I learned my triggers, what works to calm me down, and most importantly how to advocate for myself.
Am I 29 years old and still have the occasional panic attack? Yup! Am I on medication? You bet! Am I ashamed? Hell no. My anxiety and OCD have shaped me. It has made me a better teacher, given me a stronger desire to overcome obstacles, and quite frankly makes me who I am. There are days when I ask myself “Why me? Why can’t I be “normal” but then I snap back to reality and remember I am normal. I am human. Having a mental health diagnosis does not make you broken or abnormal. So let’s stop judging people and stigmatizing mental health. Instead, let’s accept everyone for who they are and lend a helping hand when we see others struggling.